love: the invisible dance

They never taught us how to be in relationship with each other, yet it’s one of the most fundamental human skills. Like anything else, relationship — and love — is a domain of mastery.

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Coming Together

It seems to me that our country (and our world) is more divided than ever.  An interaction with the new husband of a long-time friend at my grandson Luke’s bar mitzvah celebration is a great example of what’s killing us. I’d just gotten a drink and was winding my way to the dance floor when …

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What does NO mean to you?

My mother used to tell me, “No means no.”  Not very illuminating.  As a teenager, NO was a clear rejection, an invalidation of me.  I never wanted to ask for anything that would produce that response.  Therefore, I was very measured about what I asked for. As a young bride, NO meant, “I don’t love …

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The Treasure Mirror

Attractiveness – I hear it often – “I’ll be attractive when I lose 20 pounds,” or “Get a promotion,” or “A new car,” or… If you don’t see yourself as attractive as you would like, you’ve probably been short-changed by looking in the wrong mirror – one that’s been polished by Mother Culture in which you …

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What it is to be ‘we’

‘we’ is a physical, emotional, and spiritual experience of two or more individuals in which each is fully satisfied in their coexistence.  Enlightenment may be ‘we’ extended into the universe, but I want to talk about ‘we’ in the simplest terms of two. ‘we’ is the feeling you have when your touch of another produces …

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A new cure for insomnia

Do you wake up in the middle of the night and lie awake for too long?  I do. Often. I have fallen into an (annoying) habit of awakening in the middle of the night, usually between 2 and 4 am, and staying awake for 1.5-2 hours.  I know I’m not alone.  Many of my friends …

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What Makes Partners Partners

What distinguishes partnership, whether intimate or business, from all other types of relationship is the declared commitment of each of the partners, “Your concerns are my concerns.” That means I will hold your concerns as important to be addressed as my own.  Concerns are not about wants.  They are expressions of needs.   Declaring YCAMC …

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No Regrets

WHY YOU REALLY CAN’T SAY, “I SHOULD HAVE OR COULD HAVE…” It is tempting and all-too-common to look back and say “I should have done this” or “I could have done that,” imagining other choices that would have led to better outcomes.  But it is not an accurate representation of what was possible at the time. …

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